One of my Facebook friends while commenting on a post in a Christian Women's group made this profound statement "...Holiness was never promised to be easy...only worth it".
Y'all don't even want to know what i did after reading it... Well, to be honest, more like what i wanted to do. It was like someone lit a firework in my soul, I felt like jumping outta my seat, running and screaming at the top of my voice "YES! FINALLY! Someone said it right!"
Now, i am sure some eyebrows are already being raised and some people are already thinking...huhhh, whats so exciting about that quote? Well, that's the reason for this blog and I am sure when i am done, you will be able to relate to my errr.... excitement.
Holiness in this context is living according to the commandments and guidelines outlined in the Bible. It means making a conscious decision to choose to live in a pure way, regardless of what is the norm or what our flesh desires.
For us to understand clearly, lets look at SEX. Yes, S-E-X!!! That three letter word that seems to be ruling everything around us in this generation. Now, sex is a perfectly normal expression of the deepest connection that can exist between a Man and a Woman in a marriage (no apologies to the gay community...this chic thinks homosexuality is an abominable perversion). Sex is touted and sold to us in every form and every means possible. It is used in advertisements for cars, kitchen appliances and even stuff like lawn mowers, office equipment and food! I mean, i cannot seem to see the connection between sexiness and a lawn mower... and i am so sure i am not the only one wondering why the individual used in advertising a Blender has to be oh-so-sinfully sexy with ripped abs and all that or with a figure that would make an hourglass pale in comparison. Not to talk of the lady on that pack of cereal looking errr.... delicious...hahhhaaaa...
Now don't even get me started on the songs that the 'great' artistes of this generation continually assault us with and the soft-porn that they call music videos.
With all this continual barrage of sex and sexual innuendos, one can almost be excused for walking around in a constant state of arousal. I mean...we've got all these hormones raging inside of us like liquid oxygen and then there's this lighter called sexual innuendo following us around. Sure, there is bound to be some form of errr....explosion pretty soon or is there...?
Lets look at what the Bible says about sex:
There is no Hebrew or Greek word used in the Bible that precisely refers to sex before marriage. The Bible undeniably condemns adultery and sexual immorality, but is sex before marriage considered sexually immoral? According to 1 Corinthians 7:2, “yes” is the clear answer: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” In this verse, Paul states that marriage is the “cure” for sexual immorality. First Corinthians 7:2 is essentially saying that, because people cannot control themselves and so many are having immoral sex outside of marriage, people should get married. Then they can fulfill their passions in a moral way.
What we are surrounded with in this generation is the idea of casual, recreational sex. Musicians sing of having sex just because the other party looks good. Some feminists measure a woman's level of enlightenment, independence and self-sufficiency by how sexually liberated she is. In schools, a guy's popularity depends on how many girls can fall for his charms and into his bed. Nobody thinks of the implications of all these.
There is, in truth, no such thing as “casual” sex, because of the depth of intimacy involved in the sexual relationship. Lets take a look at this example. If we take a sticky note and attach it to a piece of paper, it will stick. If we remove it, it will leave behind a small amount of residue; the longer it remains, the more residue is left. If we take that note and stick it to several places repeatedly, it will leave residue everywhere we stick it, and it will eventually lose its ability to adhere to anything. This is what happens to us when we engage in “casual” sex. Each time we leave a sexual relationship, we leave a part of ourselves behind. The longer the relationship has gone on, the more we leave behind, and the more we lose of ourselves. As we go from partner to partner, we continue to lose a tiny bit of ourselves each time, and eventually we may lose our ability to form a lasting sexual relationship at all. Any sexual relationship is so strong and so intimate that we cannot enter into it casually, no matter how easy it might seem.
Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex.
So, the BIG QUESTION...how does one keep her legs closed or his pants zipped in this generation, seeing how easy it is to just let go and get down with the flow of the day?
The answer is a one-letter word "FLEE"!!! Yup, you heard right...FLEEEEEE!!!! You know the Bible has an answer for every question and this one is no exception. In 2Tim 2:22, the Bible tells us to "Flee also youthful lusts..." The New Living Translation says " Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts..." The New International Version says "Flee the evil desires of youth..."
I don't think i have anything to add to that. Simple doesn't get more simple. Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts... Watching Nicki Minaj's videos gives u a bulge in your pants, then you've gotta stop watching them videos, dear brother. Sweet sister, if listening to Jeremih or Trey Songz makes you think of silk sheets and entwined limbs, stop listening to them. If seeing a movie with Idris Elba in it makes you salivate like a rabid dog, sister tear your eyes away from that screen. And I've got to admit, that last part about Idris Elba was for me...uuuhmmm...a fine black brother with a smoooth English accent just takes the bolts outta my knee joints....hahahaaaa (whew)....I NEED TO FLEEE!!!!! Lord, Help Your Daughter....!
On a more serious note though, did you realise that the Bible didn't say "Resist", the Bible says "Flee". Let me break that down for you. You see, what the Bible is telling us in essence is that we shouldn't get to the point where we will need to resist. Once there's an inkling of something that could lead to sexual immorality, don't even wait to explore what the outcome may be, just run! Better to be safe than sorry.
Let me paint a picture; saved, sanctified Sister A and Holy,Tongue-Talking, demon-slaying Brother B are in an altar-bound relationship. Sister A invites Brother B to her apartment to "hang-out". Sis A makes a mean plate of Mac and Cheese for Brother B. Brother B eats and his soul is glad. Next, he says he needs to rest and lays down on the bed. Sister A, being the dutiful girlfriend that she is, decides to help her booboo rest well. She turns down the lights and puts a Trey Songz or Elton John CD on repeat, then cuddles next to Brother B. Well, nothing wrong has taken place yet. But, COM'ON!!!!, that's a recipe for disaster. Soon he's going to start feeling very cuddly and then a cuddle becomes a full-on makeout session which then leads on to u-know-what.
Sisters, i don't care how spiritual that brother sounds when he's preaching, i don't care how many scriptures he knows by heart, i don't care how many demons he has trampled physically; a man is a man at the end of the day. That's how he is wired. You can't dangle the meat in front of him and then expect him not to be moved. I mean, seriously...?
And brothers, any sister, no matter how saved, sanctified and purified she might be, just needs the right amount of attention + the right words in the right places at all the right times and voila!...she's putty in your arms.
Let me wrap this up. I said all of that to say this. Engaging in sexually immoral behaviour is sooooo easy. I mean, we are human. We are wired to want that kind of intimacy. Saying no to that kind of intimacy until the time is right is where the work is. We have to go against the cravings of our flesh. We have to constantly guard our hearts and eyes and ears and minds...everything. Because everything around us screams SEX and seems to taunt us into trying it out.
Saying no to Pre-marital sex is NEVER NEVER easy but i can guarantee you, it is SOOOOOOO WORTH IT, both for your present and your future. The magic word is "FLEE".
Love you all!!!!
Friday 23 September 2011
Thursday 1 September 2011
OUR BEAUTY IN YOUR EYES
Saw a post on the wall of a Facebook friend and I was really moved by it. The post was addressed to brothers in Christ. It was a plea to them to treat us sisters as Christ treats the church. It was a plea to them to look at us carefully and appreciate our beauty; the kind that endures.
I feel this message came at an appropriate time when the pressure on young women to look "Right" is so intense.
The world's description of beauty is a waif-like, anorexic-looking woman whose every action oozes seduction and who almost never leaves any of her feminine goodies hidden, baring it for the ogling pleasure of every Tom, Dick, John, James, Peter and Harry.
Realistically speaking, few women have that 'look' and aura naturally. This means most women are driven to desperate points just to acheive this 'unreal' look.
Its even more disheartening that in the church today, young men expect young women to look no different than the women of the world. And before you jump to their defence saying that rarely ever do brothers-in-Christ verbally ask their sisters in Christ to dress seductively or to have that waif-like appearance, consider this next paragraph.
Most men are attracted by what they see. Thats a fact. I am so not disputing that. Most men see a very attractive young woman and will instantly like what they see regardless of what her character is.
Women are naturally wired to want to be noticed and appreciated and cared for and all that (you know what i mean...). When the modestly-dressed woman realises that her more provocatively dressed counterpart gets more attention, she automatically starts trying to do what the other lady is doing to get as much attention. She starts eating less, exercising obsessively, taking diet-pills, binge-eating and purging and engaging in all kinds of potentially dangerous eating habits in a bid to loose weight. Her hem-line starts moving northwards, her tops get tighter, her v-necks plunge a little more, off goes the inner wears and boob-tubes worn for modesty sakes, the make-up becomes more mask-like and slowly but surely her focus shifts from her inward beauty to her outward beauty...all for one reason...SHE WANTS TO BE APPRECIATED.
What is the import of all these; Brothers, we all know you are wired to be drawn to physically attractive things, but we implore you to try to be more selective and more thorough. After the beauty draws you in, consider the character, the inner beauty that counts. Men complain that there are no good women left, but if we consider things critically, this lack of good women can be traced straight to men paying more attention to physical beauty than to the beauty that really counts- the one found in the heart.
If we were sure that men appreciate our good character, meekness, submission and Christlike qualities, we would pay more attention to these things. But since men have told us (by way of their actions) that they are more concerned with how we look, we automatically place caring for our physical beauty higher on our priority list.
Come to think of it, although this plea to our brothers is seemingly for our benefit, they are also getting a pretty good deal. I mean, we are encouraging you to go after real solid gold and not just some glittery gold-dust. Afterall, physical beauty will ALWAYS fade (no matter how many lifts and tucks and botox injections...you get my drift). But a beautiful character only gets better with time.
And before some super-saved sister jumps on my throat screaming "YES, i TOLD Y"ALL!!", let me state categorically that in NO WAY whatsoever am i a propenent of dowdiness as a symbol of purity. I mean, i am almost repelled when i see a 'sister' looking so unkempt and dirty all in a bid to seem 'holy'. Pardon me, but i dont think God can stand dirtiness. How can I be so sure? Check out the Book of Revelation in the Bible. Read through it and see how Heaven is described. You see words like 'crystal clear', 'sparkling' and the like. And we all will agree that nowhere in there is there a hint of dirtiness or tolerance for dirtiness. My Point; you can be modest and decent and all that and still dress in a really cool and attractive way. I wont propose any particular kind of clothing that can be considered appropriate. I would however suggest that when we dress, we should ask ourselves these questions and answer them honestly;
1. Why am I weariing this? To attract male attention, to look good or for the purpose of covering my nakedness?
2. What effect does my appearance have on a normal war-blooded male? We all know the effect we have on men, don't we?
3. Will Christ be proud to walk alongside you in that attire?
Now, i know i have diverted from the original line of thought of this my little write-up (something i do a lot...smh), so i need to wrap things up before i put you to sleep.
The main thought i want you to leave with is this; Brothers, do try to focus more on our inner beauty than on our bust-waist-hip ratio, and Sisters, even when it seem you dont get enough attention for your sterling inner qualities, don't be discouraged.
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
I feel this message came at an appropriate time when the pressure on young women to look "Right" is so intense.
The world's description of beauty is a waif-like, anorexic-looking woman whose every action oozes seduction and who almost never leaves any of her feminine goodies hidden, baring it for the ogling pleasure of every Tom, Dick, John, James, Peter and Harry.
Realistically speaking, few women have that 'look' and aura naturally. This means most women are driven to desperate points just to acheive this 'unreal' look.
Its even more disheartening that in the church today, young men expect young women to look no different than the women of the world. And before you jump to their defence saying that rarely ever do brothers-in-Christ verbally ask their sisters in Christ to dress seductively or to have that waif-like appearance, consider this next paragraph.
Most men are attracted by what they see. Thats a fact. I am so not disputing that. Most men see a very attractive young woman and will instantly like what they see regardless of what her character is.
Women are naturally wired to want to be noticed and appreciated and cared for and all that (you know what i mean...). When the modestly-dressed woman realises that her more provocatively dressed counterpart gets more attention, she automatically starts trying to do what the other lady is doing to get as much attention. She starts eating less, exercising obsessively, taking diet-pills, binge-eating and purging and engaging in all kinds of potentially dangerous eating habits in a bid to loose weight. Her hem-line starts moving northwards, her tops get tighter, her v-necks plunge a little more, off goes the inner wears and boob-tubes worn for modesty sakes, the make-up becomes more mask-like and slowly but surely her focus shifts from her inward beauty to her outward beauty...all for one reason...SHE WANTS TO BE APPRECIATED.
What is the import of all these; Brothers, we all know you are wired to be drawn to physically attractive things, but we implore you to try to be more selective and more thorough. After the beauty draws you in, consider the character, the inner beauty that counts. Men complain that there are no good women left, but if we consider things critically, this lack of good women can be traced straight to men paying more attention to physical beauty than to the beauty that really counts- the one found in the heart.
If we were sure that men appreciate our good character, meekness, submission and Christlike qualities, we would pay more attention to these things. But since men have told us (by way of their actions) that they are more concerned with how we look, we automatically place caring for our physical beauty higher on our priority list.
Come to think of it, although this plea to our brothers is seemingly for our benefit, they are also getting a pretty good deal. I mean, we are encouraging you to go after real solid gold and not just some glittery gold-dust. Afterall, physical beauty will ALWAYS fade (no matter how many lifts and tucks and botox injections...you get my drift). But a beautiful character only gets better with time.
And before some super-saved sister jumps on my throat screaming "YES, i TOLD Y"ALL!!", let me state categorically that in NO WAY whatsoever am i a propenent of dowdiness as a symbol of purity. I mean, i am almost repelled when i see a 'sister' looking so unkempt and dirty all in a bid to seem 'holy'. Pardon me, but i dont think God can stand dirtiness. How can I be so sure? Check out the Book of Revelation in the Bible. Read through it and see how Heaven is described. You see words like 'crystal clear', 'sparkling' and the like. And we all will agree that nowhere in there is there a hint of dirtiness or tolerance for dirtiness. My Point; you can be modest and decent and all that and still dress in a really cool and attractive way. I wont propose any particular kind of clothing that can be considered appropriate. I would however suggest that when we dress, we should ask ourselves these questions and answer them honestly;
1. Why am I weariing this? To attract male attention, to look good or for the purpose of covering my nakedness?
2. What effect does my appearance have on a normal war-blooded male? We all know the effect we have on men, don't we?
3. Will Christ be proud to walk alongside you in that attire?
Now, i know i have diverted from the original line of thought of this my little write-up (something i do a lot...smh), so i need to wrap things up before i put you to sleep.
The main thought i want you to leave with is this; Brothers, do try to focus more on our inner beauty than on our bust-waist-hip ratio, and Sisters, even when it seem you dont get enough attention for your sterling inner qualities, don't be discouraged.
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
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