Thursday, 17 July 2014



I learn lessons every day.

I wish I were more disciplined to write them down as they come.

Anyways, that’s why I have a blog.

This morning, I had a conversation with a friend that got me thinking.

How much do you love your family? Do they need to be perfect to earn your love?

 By family here, I am referring to those you are related to by blood and this goes beyond your immediate nuclear family.

My family isn’t perfect. We have all kinds of people in it. The good, the bad and the ugly. But guess what, I love my family. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. 

To be honest, I definitely love some of them from a distanceeeeeee but I still love them.

Whether you agree or not, your family shaped you. You are the person you are because of the experiences you have been through (good and bad). And most times, your family is at the center of these experiences, especially in a culture as family-oriented as the African culture.

My admonition this morning is for you to make sure you love your family (from a distance if need be, but please love them). 

Do not take kindly to people talking them down. Even if your father is a drunk and your mother is a prostitute, they are still your earthly parents. The most disrespectful thing you can do is to openly talk them down.

Am I asking you to turn a blind eye to reality? NO. Even if you wanted to, reality has a way of forcing your eyes open.

My point is this: you shouldn’t encourage people in insulting your family. Acknowledge the facts but don’t step to the other side and turn on your family. If the evidence of bad behavio(u)r is overwhelming and you will look stupid trying to refute it, there is no shame in stepping up and saying “Hey guys, this is my **** we are talking about here. I acknowledge they have done such and such, but could you please not be so disrespectful, at least in my presence”.

In the first place, no-one should feel comfortable talking down your family especially your parents and siblings in your presence. If they do, then there is a huge problem. A problem you caused and you need to rectify.

Yes, your mum is morbidly obese, but it’s not your place to crack jokes about it in the midst of your friends saying she’s as huge as a whale. Miss me with that psychologists babble about deflecting sensitive issues by making jokes of it yourself, there is NO excuse for making fun of your parents. 

“Yo mama” jokes are funny, but they depict the sad loss of respect this generation has for parents. 

You want to find out what the Holy Bible says about respecting your parents?

Exodus 20:12   "Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Ephesian 6:2-3 Honour your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.
 Matthew 15:4 For God said, 'Honour your father and mother' and 'anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.'
Mark 7:10 For Moses said, 'Honour your father and mother,' and, 'Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.'

Little wonder, so many young people in this generation have their lives cut short.

Nothing happens in isolation. This is a generation where being respectful is seen as “uncool” and your rudeness determines your ranking on the “hot or not” list; a generation where talking back to your parents is the norm instead of the exception. 

So long as this wave of dishonouring parents continues, the repercussions stated in the Bible will continue.

Hard pill to swallow, huh…

Anyway, back to my starting point:


Be it from a distance, physically via your words and actions or by praying for them, just ensure you love your family. Do not be disrespect your family, neither should you disrespect any other family.

I can assure you it is not the easiest thing to do, but that’s not a valid excuse not to do it.

If you have hated or talked down your family and you want to change, start small. Today is a good starting point. Send “just-because” wishes to that person you haven’t spoken to in so long.

Baby steps are better than stagnation. Just make sure you keep at it. The most important fact is that you have acknowledged your actions were wrong and you need to change.

All the best.

Loads of love.

I am always available via my inbox for any further conversations or clarifications.


  1. Beautifully presented, thank you for this simple but important message. God bless

  2. not an easy task if you have been abused though